Exploring Your Options

My take on getting to know new people.

When it comes to dating, there is not a simple handbook method to go about finding new people. As a teenager, while the brain is still developing, we tend to stick to comfort and what we think fits us. However, over the course of my junior year I realized I don't really know myself at all. Yes, I know what interests me and captivates my attention, but on a psychological level I don't.

In order to understand what you like about other people, you need to understand yourself. Here are some of my tips on getting to know yourself and developing a deeper connection with your mind:

• Journal - For me, I keep a digital and physical journal to verbalize how I'm feeling and reflect on it later. I also share important or memorable experiences from my day in these journals as a reminder of all the different emotions I've felt in my life.
  

• Ask Yourself Questions - Just like you would ask your partner questions to get to know them, do the same to yourself. Reflect on your passions, visualizing your ideal self, and evaluate your skills.

• Experiment - Force yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Explore new hobbies that intrigue you. I've expanded my list of hobbies with crocheting, reading, drawing, and photography.

To me, meeting people is not just a one and done. There are many different scenarios that can play out on a first date. You may immediately know you are not interested in forming a deeper connection with a person or you may want to continue seeing them if there is potential. Even if you go out on a million dates with one person, it is ok to realize you are not meant for each other, that you don't suite each other well. Don't feel like a horrible person if they do not view it the way you do. For them, you may be what they are looking for, but the opposite on your end. When you get to know yourself you realize what emotional level you are at as well as understand what you are not looking for in a person. However, it does not always have to be a deep reason to not like a person. It can be so simple. As simple as, different music taste, a passion of yours they don't seem to be interested in, or even the execution of conversation that does not match your vibe. When you find yourself in this situation it is mature to communicate where you are at and give clarity to the person you are seeing. That is it. Move about your day, week, life without regretting your decision. There will be a someone for you that is a good person and fits your vibe. You can only find that person by testing the waters. It is ok to go out on dates with different people, to get to know everyone, and see what sticks. Give yourself permission to explore your options and find what is right for you!

Xoxo,

Ali